I watch them walk down the street. Who are these
people who exist to be better than one another? The words they speak, chatting
on about football and baseball, become understood as nothing. I hear the conversations
about certain paths that lead to nowhere. This is my race, this human race with
a ridiculously high population of those who care for no one but themselves and
their family. I turn on the T.V. and there are movies that depict those who
have an idea to bring order to society as villains. Our heroes fight and risk
their lives to protect the human belief that through the chaos of free will,
peace will come. Are you reading this? Billions of people walk this planet and
every one of them has individual free will? I ask you, how can this not be
chaos? But it doesn’t matter; human beings exist solely for competition.
Everything, every little task I have witnessed being accomplished has the sole
purpose of acknowledgement. We thrive to be noticed, commended, and awarded. “Look
at that guy, he just threw a touchdown, he just hit a homerun, and she is just
beautiful.”
But where does it end? When do you receive a trophy
that says you had a wonderful life? I think we call these tombstones, these
trophies that sit upon your bones commanding you to Rest in Peace. Luckily, as
I walk down the streets of our civilized community, our American country that
sits as a judge for the world, these realizations have already made its mark in
the history of my mind. Though written on the transcripts of flesh that we call
the brain, I do not dwell. I was given the ability to move forward long before
I can remember. The need to perfect a certain personality, to manifest an
individual who is a contribution to our society does not exist in me. Peace
with-in one’s self is not obtained and then solidified as if it is some accomplishment.
No, peace is found on a daily bases. Changing with time as the human race
slowly learns to coincide with each other. I’m not sure if foolish words like
blessing or curse can describe my separation from these basic human needs to
have purpose, it’s just a paradigm to me. But I do know that I see more than you;
hear more than you because I am not consumed with repeating thoughts that come
from memories and fantasies stored in my mind. I live and breathe, calculate
the present by observing the now. My senses focus on a constantly evolving map
that is painted with the brush of time. Yet, there are those who say time does
not exist. Time is just a word that man made to measure our existence. Then I guess
that would mean colors do not exist, that they are just words to measure frequencies
of light that reflect off of the solid matter in this world. Numbers do not exist;
they are just man made words that measure space. I apologize for the minuscule
fallacy in such philosophical comparison; I am just trying to expose the need
of mankind to give substance to explanations that are not solid. When you hear
your heartbeat, you hear time. When you see movement, you see time. Time has
more substance than anything that some philosopher or scientist can describe as
matter. Time is uncontrollable; therefore we are enslaved to its tic. I don’t
know who your master is, but I serve time. But then again, who am I? I am
nothing, but you can call me Vyktor Blake.
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